Friends in the program

I have never had relationships like I do with women in the program.  Well, actually men too...but I would prefer to focus on my relationships with the women.  I trust no one.  I take risks with people and relationships.  I get involved with people in a deep way very very quickly.  I always felt as though I bound into peoples lives.  I head right to the core of groups, associations, places of worship, places of employment and people themselves.  I believe it was all in an effort to break out of my old habits of isolation.  However it was a different part of my disease...when I was attempting to be the puppet master, and all my little marionettes would dance happily in the scenes I was constructing and creating.  The insanity did not stop when I entered the rooms...I wonder sometimes if the insanity will ever cease.  However, I have learned that the people in the rooms, while we want to believe they ALL follow the rules and they ALL are safe, honest and abide by the code of alanon...I have figured out that as time goes on and we walk our own journeys that our friends will emerge to walk along on our journey.  Only time will tell which ones are there for a season and which ones are lifers.  I have found some women that I am so unbelievably and indescribably thankful for.  Women whom I can say outright..."hey, I have no clue how to have girlfriends so please help me because I love you and don't want to lose the wonderful gift of our relationship".  I have had good responses so far, although it was like navigating a thicket sometimes, it has been worth the risk.  I know that there are moments still when the path starts getting tricky, and I am learning that it may always be that way...it does get easier and easier all the time.  I don't have to keep every single friend as my bosom buddy, I accept that those people who come and go are there for a season and a reason, and letting them go is okay.  Guess what people...the world continues to spin with or without those folks.  Weird, right?  Well, for me it is weird.  I am learning about choices, choosing, honesty, and how not much of what goes on constitutes "the end of the world as we know it"...(a little R.E.M. for those of you who appreciate 80's music)

So friends, I leave you with this thought...if I can choose to accept the things I listed above...can you imagine how many other things I may choose while on my road to recovery?  I love this road! 

Blessings and peace....Asalamalakum, which I just learned translates as "Peace be upon you"